Tag Archive for twitter

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The Govenment Has Officially Banned Nickelbacks, Plus Several Other Shitty Bands

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We all spend a lot of time giving Nickelback a hard time. Why? Because they are demonstrably lame. Sorry, Canadians. 

But apparently the Department of Defense isn’t having it anymore. This memo, which as been shared over 1,500 times on Twitter, officially bans Nickelback, among other “Terrible ‘Rock Groups'” from Command Post.

So if you were thinking about playing your copy of KoRn’s Follow the Leader or “All-Star,” you could be cleaning the floors with a toothbrush. 

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Seth Rogen Found Out Donald Trump, Jr Follows Him On Twitter, So He’s Been Sliding Into His DMs

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People are trying to whatever they can for someone in the White House to get a handle on the president, whom everyday looks more and more like a walking silver alert. 

So Seth Rogen, the actor famous for nearly starting a war with North Korea, has jumped back into the political arena by reaching out to one special Twitter follower: Donald Trump, Jr. 

Now with an ear to the fruit of that reality-TV gameshow host’s loins, he’s sliding into his DMs, and we’re waiting to see if anything happens. 

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Seth Rogen Makes It His Goal to Save America By Sliding Into Donald Trump Jr’s DMs on Twitter

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Seth Rogen and his sweet milky bong of justice and “uh-huhhhhhh” laughs all add up to be the hero we never expected, but the one we need in these trying times under the tangerine-coated, Cheeto puff-dusted overlord that only today told us drugs cost as much as candy bars, amidst a full-fledged mental breakdown. Upon realizing that Donald Trump’s son follows him on Twitter, Seth proceeded to make the only natural move any one would given the opportunity; and tried to slide into DJ Trump Jr’s DMs, for the sake of humanity itself. Will his heroic efforts work, or fade into helpless oblivion? I guess time will tell.

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When Tom Hanks Finds a Lost Glove He Tweets About it and We Aren’t Totally Sure Why

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I don’t know why, but for some reason this one manages to skip past being just mildly amusing and right on into being utterly baffling. It raises so many questions. Why is Tom Hanks so obsessed with gloves? Did he have some kind of traumatic experience with a lost glove? 

I’m willing to bet that at some point he painted a face on a glove and it became his best friend while he was stranded on an island, only for it to be lost at sea. 

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Phil Jackson Photographed Riding NYC Bus Looking Depressed AF, Internet Strikes With Flood of Hilarious Reactions

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I’m overcome with burning questions and emotions right now: is this actually Phil Jackson, and if it is why in the hell is he riding the NYC bus looking like he’s one untied oversized shoelace away from getting off at the next stop to let the driver run him over? Seriously Phil, talk to us? What’s up bro? Well, regardless of if this is Phil Jackson and he has one of those eye-catching resting bitch face’s, or if he’s deeply saddened; the Internet was there to capitalize on the momentous photograph with a rollercoaster of hilarious reactions. 

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Conor McGregor Bobs and Weaves and Trolls ‘Retired’ Floyd Mayweather Into A Corner, After Rumors of Super Fight

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Last night Floyd Mayweather tweet-sniped rumors down that him and McGregor were gearing up for a billion dollar super fight. If only he could’ve known he was setting the stage for getting himself trolled by McGregor and his pack of fanboys. 

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