Archive for February 16, 2017

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Sean Hannity Tries To Troll, Twitter Sighs and Rightfully Destroys Him

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Sean Hannity likes to stir the pot, and by that I mean, look like an idiot in public. 

So when he asked the internet if the left was trying to destroy the Trump presidency, Twitter was pretty much uniform in their answer: “He doesn’t need their help.” 

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Tennis Player Genie Bouchard Makes Good on Her Superbowl Bet and Actually Goes on a Date With That Lucky Guy

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One of our most favorite outcomes of the Superbowl blowout was that bet that Genie Bouchard made with a random dude on twitter. The gist was that if the Patriots came back from their 24-0 deficit and won the game, she would have to go on a date with him. Well, she agreed and, well, the Falcons dropped the ball. Hard. 

Anyways, this guy is one lucky son of a bitch.

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Tagged: super bowl

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Seth Rogen Makes It His Goal to Save America By Sliding Into Donald Trump Jr’s DMs on Twitter

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Seth Rogen and his sweet milky bong of justice and “uh-huhhhhhh” laughs all add up to be the hero we never expected, but the one we need in these trying times under the tangerine-coated, Cheeto puff-dusted overlord that only today told us drugs cost as much as candy bars, amidst a full-fledged mental breakdown. Upon realizing that Donald Trump’s son follows him on Twitter, Seth proceeded to make the only natural move any one would given the opportunity; and tried to slide into DJ Trump Jr’s DMs, for the sake of humanity itself. Will his heroic efforts work, or fade into helpless oblivion? I guess time will tell.

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To Stop An Out of Control Car, This Man Crashed His Tesla, Like In The Goddamn Dark Knight or Something

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Remember that scene in The Dark Knight, when Batman saves the life of that sniveling, backstabbing little prick who wants to blackmail Batman by crashing his car into him? Well, that happened in real life! 

A different rich guy with a super fancy car wrecked it saving an out of control car. Whoa. Just like in Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight. This man drove his Tesla into an out of control Passat, saving the life of the driver. The guy, reportedly, also had a really raspy voice. Just kidding. But that also would’ve been like in The Dark Knight

But even cooler, Elon Musk, a third rich guy who owns a tech company (like in The Dark Knight) said he would cover the repairs to the Tesla. I don’t think that happened in The Dark Knight, but you could imagine Bruce Wayne doing something similar.

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When Tom Hanks Finds a Lost Glove He Tweets About it and We Aren’t Totally Sure Why

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I don’t know why, but for some reason this one manages to skip past being just mildly amusing and right on into being utterly baffling. It raises so many questions. Why is Tom Hanks so obsessed with gloves? Did he have some kind of traumatic experience with a lost glove? 

I’m willing to bet that at some point he painted a face on a glove and it became his best friend while he was stranded on an island, only for it to be lost at sea. 

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Tagged: twitter , tom hanks

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15 Waiters Dish Out Tales of The Worst, Cringeworthy Dates They’ve Ever Witnessed

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Anyone that’s ever served time as a waiter can tell you every shift brings with it a new form of chaos — the grumpy, bitchfaced, beer-bloated, red-faced-angry-hockey-dad customer who had a bone to pick with the restaurant’s inability to cater to his overdeveloped taste for craft beers that almost never end up on the tap list; or the catty group of eye-rolling sorority sisters out for a ladies’ night, jacked up on the pre-game Pinot they guzzled in dad’s BMW, before proceeding to make the server’s life a living hell by ordering extravagantly customized salads. But those are just a couple examples. Dates are a whole ‘nother animal, and these particular cringe-coated, romantically failed dates rank as some of the worst I’ve come across in this long strange trip called life, so far.

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