What’s more twisted and inappropriate for a school setting (as a teacher) than a good ‘ol fashioned game of ‘f**k, marry, kill,’ where you proceed to decide on a human being’s worth with elements like likability, marriageability, and fuckability.
And that’s how a dwarf planet’s made, kiddos. Seriously though, solid little tale that din’t fail to make me think, maybe romance isn’t dead after all. If these two didn’t take their run-in to be a sign of some sorts, then their loss.
I don’t even know what to say anymore. If you love a good crunchwrap supreme and that weird sandwich taco thing best expresses the love you have for your “soulmate,” I guess today’s your lucky day. Now you can have a wedding at Taco Bell, and, Jesus, what are we even doing anymore?
According to Taco Bell’s Chief Marketing Officer Marisa Thalberg, you can now “order a wedding off of our menu.” This is only available at Taco Bell’s new Las Vegas Strip flagship location, which will forever be known as the center of love and romance in the universe because we are all trash.
This $600 package starts in summer 2017 and includes:
• A ceremony in the chapel inside the restaurant with an ordained officiant within as little as four hours
• Private area for a reception inside the restaurant with up to 15 of your closest family and friends
• Custom merchandise, including a sauce packet garter and bow tie, “Just Married” T-shirts for the bride and groom, Taco Bell branded champagne flutes and, of course, a Taco 12 Pack filled with tacos and a Cinnabon Delights cake for dessert
• A Sauce Packet bouquet is also available for the bride to use during the ceremony
You hear that? Not only do you get a t-shirt,but you get a 12 pack of tacos and a “sauce packet bouquet,” the perfect start to a diarehetic wedding night, which, if I’m not mistaken, was the subject of one of Shakespeare’s sonnets. God, humanity is garbage.
You know what’s better than, like, 90% of these Marvel movies? These short videos of Thor dealing with his new roommate and explaining why he’s not in Captain America: Civil War.
God, I love these. Thor dealing with everyday problems reminds me of me dealing with everyday problems, from what to do with all my gold to how to wear a shirt when you have many, many shirt-ripping muscles.
She definitely gets into it: you can really see the hurt behind her eyes, the pained expression, and yes, of course the sheer virtual reality-ridden ignorance of our racer gamer of the hour. I mean hey, it’s hard out here for a dude to hit those checkpoints on the road to topping high score, am I right?
Hopefully he didn’t fail his mission, because he’s clearly one ‘game over’ from taking up residence in the doghouse.
Well well, this didn’t fail to capture the endearing awkwardness of a couple of life’s milestones. What better time to rehash on the cringe-inducing times of old than Valentine’s Day or (Happy Alone Day)?